Saturday, April 07, 2007


Okay so I know I need to replace the picture on my profile. I had some kind of snafu with earthlink and I lost some stuff. I'll get around to it...

Still thinking like crazy about Mandy's mom, Susan. I really do miss her. I was just looking at old photographs and seeing those old pictures of her surrounded by her family... It's bittersweet. She was always smiling and joking about something--a big one for gallows humor. She could find humor in anything--cancer for example. Mandy has really been having a hard time letting go. Luckily, we have some of her old journals--well ALL of her old journals. It's funny reading back about her impressions of holidays and visits. It's also very sad to read about how scared she was of dying. I think back to one of the last really deep conversations we had. It was a Saturday morning and I was lying on the floor in her bedroom talking and reading a New Yorker magazine while she sat in bed and watched television. This was a popular morning pastime when we came to visit--all of us gathered in her bedroom, me on the floor (usually reading and participating in the conversation in small fits) and Mandy lying in bed with her mom. Anyway, Susan asked me what I thought heaven was like. Without really thinking much I said, "Well, I like to think of it as a never-ending fishing trip on the intracoastal waterway." I was just thinking about what makes me happiest--where I really lose myself. I wasn't really thinking about cchosing my words carefully or anything--I mean, a dying person asks you what heaven is like, you'd better have a good answer. I don't know, I hope my answer was good. It was honest at least.

I don't know about Heaven. As a Christian, I have to believe that there IS a heaven, but what it looks like, I don't know. I do know that God is good and His grace is a blessing the touches us ALL, EVERYONE OF US... I like to think that Heaven is a reflection of that grace. I don't know. I just hope that if heaven IS an eternal fishing trip on the intracoastal waterway, that I'll have room for an eternity's worth of beer in the cooler.

1 comment:

hyacinth said...

I didn't know Susan very well, but your description of heaven seems like something she would like.