MORE THINKING...

Which really isn't all that good for me I guess. I am turning 35 in a a week and I am feeling a little anxious about it all. I am having one of those "EVERYBODY HATES ME" days. I don't know what my problem is. I guess it could have somehting to do with how hard I've been working lately--OR that I have not been getting enough sleep these days because Leo is cutting teeth and making our lives difficult in the sleep dept.. Just feeling a little paranoid.

I am feeling the burn of my thirty-something years. I look back on things I've accomplished and things left un done or abandoned. I still believe that my most productive years lay ahead--but the trick is finding time to realize those ideas and dreams that I have whirling inside my noggin. I have this grand idea for a story that I keep pushing off to the WAAAAAY back burner--in the midst of all the other stories I have. It's a story I want to do for Leo, one that we can add onto together when he gets older. I won't give away any details but I will be posting some of the sketches soon...

I don't know... Maybe I should head off to bed.

JUST THINKING

I am sitting here, just sitting--listening to the house settle, listening to my neighbor's party break up. Car doors are slamming and people are heading home, their radios thumping into the night as the rest of the 'hood seems to slip away under the full moon... Things are feeling strange, almost hyper-real--close to the bone. It's 11:30 and Mandy has gone to bed. Leo will no doubt be up soon for a midnight feeding.

I was hoping to get some work done. I have a deadline to meet and I am worried I may have overextended myself a little with work these days. So as I write this, I know I should be working. I just can't. There is so much stuff swirling around upstairs that I can't be bothered with something as silly as work. And yet I can't go to sleep. It's not that I am anxious, it's almost like I am just aware, calmly aware.

MY LABOR DAY SUCKED--AT LEAST SOME OF IT...

Oh sure, we spent some great quality time with my family in Clemson--which is always great. We all got to sit and visit and of course everyone got to have some great QT with Leo. Mandy and I went for a walk with my dad (who happens to have a PhD in Agronomy from Clemson) in the woods where we were introduced to the lethal pokeweed. So that part was great...

The shitty and really suck-ass part of it is that Steve Irwin died this morning in a freak encounter with a stingray. Steve Irwin, the "Crocodile Hunter" was a true freak of nature, a wild-eyed man-child who would hurl himslef at all manner of dangerous animals and then, as he is holding said animal in front of the camera, deliver a hurried monologue as to the animal's lethality and why it deserves our respect and protection. He was like some bastard cross between Marlon Perkins and my crazy uncle Bill who once grabbed a massive rattlesnake by the throat and killed it because he heard they "were supposed to be pretty good eating."

We used to watch Irwin every Saturday morning in bed... He attacked the world like some mutant three year old--full of wonder and excitement. I will miss him...